Finding Messiah as a Jew: A Memoir

How does a girl brought up in an Orthodox Jewish household find Messiah?

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.וְהָאָרֶץ, הָיְתָה תֹהוּ וָבֹהוּ, וְחֹשֶׁךְ, עַל-פְּנֵי תְהוֹם; וְרוּחַ אֱלֹהִים, מְרַחֶפֶת עַל-פְּנֵי הַמָּיִם

The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep.
And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
~ Genesis 1:2


When I was a child studying at a Jewish elementary school, we learned Hebrew by translating scripture. I remember translating the beginning of Genesis. B’reshit bara Elohim et ha’shamayim v’et ha’aretz. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. V’ha’aretz hayta tohu v’vohu v’choshech al p’ney t’hom v’Ruach Elohim m’rachefet al p’ney ha’mayim. And the earth was formless and void and darkness was on the face of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

At first the phrase stuck in my memory because, to a six year old, it sounded funny. Tohu v’vohu. Little did I know, how meaningful those words would become as I grew in faith. “Formless and void.”

Before I knew Yeshua, I was formless and void. I was full of darkness. My soul was a deep well of emptiness. The abyss was all I knew.

Then one day, I looked up. I saw the face of the waters and began to float upwards. Not knowing why I was drawn to the surface, I continued to seek the waters’ edge. Imagine my surprise to find the Ruach Elohim, the Spirit of the Living God, hovering there above me. More surprising still – He had been there the whole time. He had always been over the face of my deep waters, waiting for me to look up and choose the light.

He is here still. Now, He lives in me. No longer does He hover above me, but I soar with Him above myself. We all have the decision to continue looking down, to dwell in deep darkness, to feel the void of our existence and to live without form. Or to look up and join Him Who is Light, to rise above ourselves and to allow Him to shape us. As the potter molds the clay, He is molding me. Slowly, but surely, I am taking form in His hands.

Copyright © 2014 by Gittel Fruma

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8 thoughts on “Finding Messiah as a Jew: A Memoir

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